Why You Never Talk To Vegetables

Hello All, In all likelihood you will be rubbing your eyes in disbelief and re-reading the title of this post. (At least I hope you are) but do not fear, your eyes are not playing tricks on you, "Why You Never Talk To Vegetables" is the title of today's post, and all shall be revealed in only a few moments.

First to some other business. Starting Sunday there will be a Mothers Word of the Week, each week a different word and a different challenge. Dun Dunn DUNNN! Although I have now decided you have waited long enough, so lets lose your common sense and don the cloak of insanity for its now -drumroll- time for the Vegetable.

This conversation started when my mother and I were sat watching the fourth installment of Pirates of the Caribbean. Although im not entirely sure how it happened. 

Her:
As you all know Carrots are not good conversation, no, they are in fact the tango tribe  of the vegetable world, they are social climbers, arrogant, self absorbed and suffer from terrible cucumber envy. 
Me: Cucumber envy? 

Her:
See we are not supposed to talk about cucumbers in polite society, not at all, they are the porn stars of vegetables, always spouting innuendo and can swell to incredible sizes, hence why the carrots are envious.

Whilst on the subject of bad conversationalists I must add Cabbages, this buggers will start talking in random strings of French at any moment and will continue this for hours -groan- Now Leaks are great conversation although they do have an incredibly bad Welsh accent, so they are impossible to understand.

Now I bet you are all wondering about the potato, Potato's are the hermits of the group, your rarely see them and they refuse to talk to anybody. Sad Really.

I have now covered all the Vegetables Mother covered. So I hope I have put you off vegetables for life, I know I'll never be able to look at a cucumber in the same way again.
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